Tomodachi Life
Tomodachi Life is a 2006 game marketed as being about caring for little Miis. In reality, it instructs children in the arts of Satanism and steps to achieving statuses as cultists. History The game was started on June 6th, 2006 by Sugary Hippopotomous, known by the blind Americans as Shigeru Miyamoto. He wanted to play out his plan to abduct children and turn them into Satanists, and thought of doing so by creating an innocent looking game called the Sims. After finding out it was taken, he stormed into the Super Smash Bros Brawl creative team's room and forced them to give him their virginity in order to think of a new title. On July 23rd, 2006, the title "Hail Satan: For Kids" was perceived and development was started. Rough draft drawings were created, including one of Satan himself with a bunch of children surrounding him, happy and playing with a pentagram. As soon as ESRB got ahold of these, however, they questioned Miyamoto and his crew for a week, before taking them to court. In court, it was settled that if Nintendo were to make a game about Satanism, that it would have to be included subtly. After this case, Miyamoto killed the head of the ESRB, and fed her corpse to starving children. The development continued on August 25, 2006. In the last few days of August, more "innocent" designs were developed. Characters representing the player's Miis would be used, and these Miis would live peacefully in the player's house. After setting up a rough draft of the house, Miyamoto asked Sakurai to make a basement full of Satanic designs. When he declined, Miyamoto promptly fired the entire Brawl design team and began production with himself. When times got rough in 2007, he hired Marilyn Manson. The two produced a slew of demonic designs, including a Lucifer Mii which would sell "barbecues". By April 2011, a full game was developed, with news about it being leaked. Screenshots of families having fun, Miis getting into cute little arguments, and dinner parties were seen. But little known to the world, Miyamoto and Manson had programmed so much Satanic imagery into the game that their 3DS would literally become possessed. Miyamoto was planning to use this to his advantage to get the credit card information of every fat, pathetic American he could. As he and Manson watched the weeaboos flip over a game so pathetically simple looking, they began to prepare their rituals that would take over every 3DS with saves of Tomodachi on them. They would only need to wait two years; until then, they could add more to the game. By 2012, multiple screenshots of family fun & games were leaked to the public. Miyamoto went to E3 2012 in order to further the game's hype, and brought Marilyn Manson, dressed in a Mii Costume with his face concealed, to dance and advertise the game. The crowd loved it, as fangirl screams and manly cheers could be heard throughout. With every feature shown, and Manson's impressive Mii breakdancing, the crowd grew more and more hyped for the game; some even got turned on. At one point, Manson called out a whole slew of backup dancers and started a line of twerking Miis; the crowd ate it all up. Winking at Miyamoto through the mouth of the Mii, Manson alerted him to the crowd's massive love for the game. Their plan was working. At the end of E3, all of the other game companies were jealous of the massive display; a full sized Mii statue animatronic was dancing along to the Super Smash Bros Melee Slam remix as Manson played a guitar solo following the tune of "Sweet Victory" and his Mii backup dancers kept break dancing harder and harder. A bunch of security had to be called out to block children from swarming on stage and making out with Miyamoto; they were in love with him and his idea. Miyamoto ended the conference by setting fire to the EA logo and sending it into space, then doing a guitar player leg slide next to Manson, before the curtains closed. The show was over, and the first part of the plan was a success. Category:Hail Satan Category:Dr. Phil Quotes Category:Satanism Category:Vidya gaemz Category:Gateway Drugs Category:Tomodachi Life Category:Testicles Category:Tigerisnormal Category:Satan Category:Mitt Romney